Being the Only Man
As our society evolves, we are recognizing that sexual co-addiction is not a gender specific issue: An increasing number of men are identifying their co-sex addiction/sexual codependency. In spite of this fact, you may find yourself the only man in the room at a COSA meeting. This does not mean that you do not belong or that you won’t find help in this program. It simply means that you are a member of a brave, trail-blazing minority and can be an example for other men to follow.Just as females in recovery for sex addiction report being stigmatized, the stigma for men in recovery from co-sex addiction may even be greater. A co-addicted male may experience the same feelings of hurt, shame and worthlessness as a female co-addict, in addition to feelings of emasculation and weakness. As the result of the life-long cultural stereotyping and messages about male sexual appetite, co-addicted men may find it even harder than women do to admit that they have limits, to admit discomfort with participation in some acts or on demand, to start saying no to their addicted partner’s sexual compulsivity, to crave emotional closeness and to crave control of their partner’s attentions.
We recommend that you attend the meetings with an open mind. You will see that you share many similarities with the members of your group and, eventually, you will be able to share your own experience, strength and hope from your own unique perspective.