More about COSA
What brings us to COSA? Before recovery, we are unable to admit our powerlessness over compulsive sexual behavior; either someone else's behavior, or our own obsession with the sex addict. We attempt to control, losing regard for our own well-being in the process. Whether we choose to call it sexual codependency or co-sex addiction, our problem is a serious and progressive disease -- as harmful to us as sexual addiction is to the sex addict.Lying, covering up, explaining away, or ignoring compulsive sexual behaviors are some of the unhealthy ways we may cope. We stifle the inner voice telling us something is wrong. We accept promises like "it won't happen again" many times over, and in effect, enable the addiction. With the denial of reality, our lives become increasingly unmanageable.
Our efforts to control escalate in an attempt to alleviate the strain. We tell ourselves that if only we could somehow change -- for example, be more (or less) attractive, provocative, intelligent, competent -- we could change another person's sexual behavior.
Hope in COSA
In the long run, our efforts to control fail. The consequences leave us in despair: our self-esteem, personal boundaries and values are seriously compromised. Our health and our lives are at risk, and our identity is lost. We realize our need to reach out for help.
COSA offers hope. In COSA, we begin to experience relief from our isolation, in the safety of an anonymous gathering with others who share our stories. During every meeting -- little by little -- sanity, clarity, and our own truth begin to emerge.
COSA is:
- An anonymous 12-Step fellowship
- Open to those whose lives have been affected by someone else's compulsive sexual behavior
- Self supported through the weekly voluntary contributions of members
- Not affiliated with outside organizations, including treatment centers, religions or therapy.